it's hard to control my anger when you insist to provoke me. i know i should not be angry with you but i just angry! i cant stand people who refuse to admit their mistake and to make things worse, change the whole situation to make it looks like i am the offender. why must you always rush? cant you just slow down and find the purpose in your tasks.
but my anger has subsided.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
cycling at bishan
went cycling with pee and jf at bishan park today. considering that i had not touched a bicycle for 2 years since i last learnt in sec4, it was a great achievement.
i was a late learner because i have a phobia for cycling. (note the tense) when i was young, i cycled in with this little red 4-wheeled bike at home. the more i cycled, the happier i was and the faster i paddled. when i was supposed to make a turn, i lost control of that bike, flew out of it and hurt my forehead. it was bloody painful, literally. end up, i had a scar on my forehead. it is not very obvious because i got it when i was young. so i guess the mark will fade as i grow older.
anyway, i got very irritated with myself half way through the route. i just could not control the direction in which the bike would go to when there were many turns and bends. my arms would straighten and i could feel the tension in my muscles but i could not relax. so i was left with the last option which was to jump off the bike. it was very frustrating when i just could not get things done in the way i want it to be. i dont understand why. i just need more practices to perfect my skills or am i still living in my nightmare?
when it was about time for us to go, i challenged myself to go through the route again and not to stop at all. i took it slow and steady. stay focus. i tried my best not to speed (pee's advice) and it did work. at least i only stopped twice. that's not bad for my standard.
so much for a cycling experience.
what's next? inline skating. =)
i was a late learner because i have a phobia for cycling. (note the tense) when i was young, i cycled in with this little red 4-wheeled bike at home. the more i cycled, the happier i was and the faster i paddled. when i was supposed to make a turn, i lost control of that bike, flew out of it and hurt my forehead. it was bloody painful, literally. end up, i had a scar on my forehead. it is not very obvious because i got it when i was young. so i guess the mark will fade as i grow older.
anyway, i got very irritated with myself half way through the route. i just could not control the direction in which the bike would go to when there were many turns and bends. my arms would straighten and i could feel the tension in my muscles but i could not relax. so i was left with the last option which was to jump off the bike. it was very frustrating when i just could not get things done in the way i want it to be. i dont understand why. i just need more practices to perfect my skills or am i still living in my nightmare?
when it was about time for us to go, i challenged myself to go through the route again and not to stop at all. i took it slow and steady. stay focus. i tried my best not to speed (pee's advice) and it did work. at least i only stopped twice. that's not bad for my standard.
so much for a cycling experience.
what's next? inline skating. =)
Thursday, June 22, 2006
i need to rest!
i am ultra tired today. i did not feel like doing anything today but i had a packed schedule. considering that i slept close to 1am the night before, i should wake up close to noon to have at least 8 hours sleep. however, i had to drag myself out of my cosy bed to climb THE bloody hill to get my A levels cert. it was the last day for me to collect it so i was left with no choice. DAMN!
after that, i accompanied my mother to a traditional chinese medicine hall to get some herbs and tonics. everything was perfectly fine until the saleperson bothered me. didnt she know never to bother the customer who had the capability to doze off anywhere then. well, she obviously was not taught that IMPORTANT skill and she started promoting this bottle of so-called healthy pills to me, in front of my mother. maybe she meant well but i did not seem to appreciate her kindness. partly because of my already foul mood and i had this feeling that "i am not trying to ask you to buy" method was insincere. come on, tell the consumers the truth! i understand why you had to do this because it was part of your duties. it was such a small matter but i dont care. just give me the space to grumble.
tuition was up next. luckily, he did not give me much headaches except that he did not finish his work. that's nothing new. "i will ask for my friends for help". yaya... do i look naive to you? i was a primary school kid before.
i rushed all the way to orchard to meet up with goi and rj to plan our iternary for our taiwan trip. i will be flying off on this sunday. that's fast! as usual, i have not prepared anything yet. at least we had drafted out the places we will be going and i cant wait. hope it will be a fruitful trip. by the way, AH MENG DOES NOT DIE, and AH MENG IS A GORILLA.
after that, i accompanied my mother to a traditional chinese medicine hall to get some herbs and tonics. everything was perfectly fine until the saleperson bothered me. didnt she know never to bother the customer who had the capability to doze off anywhere then. well, she obviously was not taught that IMPORTANT skill and she started promoting this bottle of so-called healthy pills to me, in front of my mother. maybe she meant well but i did not seem to appreciate her kindness. partly because of my already foul mood and i had this feeling that "i am not trying to ask you to buy" method was insincere. come on, tell the consumers the truth! i understand why you had to do this because it was part of your duties. it was such a small matter but i dont care. just give me the space to grumble.
tuition was up next. luckily, he did not give me much headaches except that he did not finish his work. that's nothing new. "i will ask for my friends for help". yaya... do i look naive to you? i was a primary school kid before.
i rushed all the way to orchard to meet up with goi and rj to plan our iternary for our taiwan trip. i will be flying off on this sunday. that's fast! as usual, i have not prepared anything yet. at least we had drafted out the places we will be going and i cant wait. hope it will be a fruitful trip. by the way, AH MENG DOES NOT DIE, and AH MENG IS A GORILLA.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
good workout
i have finally moved my butts out of my house today to play badminton with my dearest friend, jiefang. i should be nice to her in this entry because i caused her to have serious back aches after the match. i dont usually play badminton because of 2 reasons. first, i cant serve for nuts. dont ask me why because i dont know. second, i have poor eye hand coordination. that can be the reason i cant serve. then why on earth did i decide to play badminton today? i refuse to go swimming now because of the unpredictable weather recently. i hate running so that is definitely out of the question. other sports? cant think of anything. so yes, badminton was my healthy workout for the day.
we met this uncle whom jiefang knows in the stadium. he is damn good in badminton. i heard he was a ex national table tennis player. his hair is almost white but he is very agile and his reaction and skills are superb. that's a good role model to stay fit and healthy regardless of age. =)
i shall slowly pick up my pace and start exercising more. cycling is on thsi friday and jiefang and i agree to fall together. so pee, dont blame us if you have to stop and wait for us frequently. we will be clowns on friday. but before that, i shall indulge in ikea meatballs tomorrow. i cant wait for that. by the way, if jiefang happens to read this, i wrote the meatball part on purpose to make you jealous. happy tuitioning tomorrow girl! we have agreed to sign up for this in-line skating course. pee, please join us okay? dont leave me alone with that sicko pinko.
so long, cya!
we met this uncle whom jiefang knows in the stadium. he is damn good in badminton. i heard he was a ex national table tennis player. his hair is almost white but he is very agile and his reaction and skills are superb. that's a good role model to stay fit and healthy regardless of age. =)
i shall slowly pick up my pace and start exercising more. cycling is on thsi friday and jiefang and i agree to fall together. so pee, dont blame us if you have to stop and wait for us frequently. we will be clowns on friday. but before that, i shall indulge in ikea meatballs tomorrow. i cant wait for that. by the way, if jiefang happens to read this, i wrote the meatball part on purpose to make you jealous. happy tuitioning tomorrow girl! we have agreed to sign up for this in-line skating course. pee, please join us okay? dont leave me alone with that sicko pinko.
so long, cya!
Friday, June 16, 2006
shouldn't it be over
i find humans to be very complex creatures. even i myself do not understand myself very well. is it why there are occupations like psychologists and personality workshops and testes available for us? we change very much like the weather, unpredictable. one moment we can be in our best performance and at the next moment we can even bite the hand that feed us. sometimes, we dont even know why we behave in that manner. strange isnt?
i fail to remember the good times i had with people for long. oh ya, the movie we watched a few weeks ago was fantastic. how about a day before that outing? well, i guess my mind cant bring me to that far. i dont know if i am a person who bears grudges. one thing i am sure is that i live my life by this principle - treat people that way you want to be treated in (i may have bend the rules a little bit sometimes).
it has happened so many years ago but i cant get it out of my mind. it is very frustrating because it will building a wall when i try to connet with people. i cannot forget it and cannot forgive the destroyer. he inflicts pain on everyone. get a life! stop thinking that the whole world revolves around you. i have my own life so just get moving with yours and not mess with mine. i cannot re-accept the destroyer back into my life after what he had done to us for the past years. it is not just 1 or 2 years. it is close to a decade. continue to isolate yourself and live in self-pity. nobody is there to help you. dont crawl to me and cry on my bed because i am not willing to offer you any form of help anymore. dont blame me because i just cannot let it go.
scold me, curse me, blame me. i dont care. let the cold war begin.
i fail to remember the good times i had with people for long. oh ya, the movie we watched a few weeks ago was fantastic. how about a day before that outing? well, i guess my mind cant bring me to that far. i dont know if i am a person who bears grudges. one thing i am sure is that i live my life by this principle - treat people that way you want to be treated in (i may have bend the rules a little bit sometimes).
it has happened so many years ago but i cant get it out of my mind. it is very frustrating because it will building a wall when i try to connet with people. i cannot forget it and cannot forgive the destroyer. he inflicts pain on everyone. get a life! stop thinking that the whole world revolves around you. i have my own life so just get moving with yours and not mess with mine. i cannot re-accept the destroyer back into my life after what he had done to us for the past years. it is not just 1 or 2 years. it is close to a decade. continue to isolate yourself and live in self-pity. nobody is there to help you. dont crawl to me and cry on my bed because i am not willing to offer you any form of help anymore. dont blame me because i just cannot let it go.
scold me, curse me, blame me. i dont care. let the cold war begin.
Monday, June 12, 2006
i cant help it
i am blogging frequently now. is that a good sign? well, it just means that i am freaking bored and have nothing better to do at home. HA!
there is something i have always wanted to do but no progress was made. i dragged my tired legs back home from the bus stop today. i did not allow it to rest once i got off the bus. i walked through the many HDB blocks and climbed up the stairs. i want to walk aimlessly in spore, with my ipod one day. i know walking isnt the best exercise option for me but i just want to do it. i always feel peace at heart and mind whenever i take slow walks back home. it makes me think about myself and the big issue - life. i need to think and i want to walk. all i need now is a little push to start walking.
just to add on something, japan lost. DAMN!
there is something i have always wanted to do but no progress was made. i dragged my tired legs back home from the bus stop today. i did not allow it to rest once i got off the bus. i walked through the many HDB blocks and climbed up the stairs. i want to walk aimlessly in spore, with my ipod one day. i know walking isnt the best exercise option for me but i just want to do it. i always feel peace at heart and mind whenever i take slow walks back home. it makes me think about myself and the big issue - life. i need to think and i want to walk. all i need now is a little push to start walking.
just to add on something, japan lost. DAMN!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
where?
i am unemployed for almost a week and i am seriously getting sick of it. goi was so damn right. i did not accomplish much for the past few days unless making good progress with my 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle is something i should be proud of. no reading because i am busy with my puzzle. sleeping my whole cold afternoon away today. i am serious! i slept from 1330 to 1900. i wonder how did i manage to do it? jiefang just cant stand the lazy and unhealthy me anymore. she was nagging right beside me throughout the whole journey to central on thurs evening.
quick! go and exercise. when is the last time you exercise? dont you feel uneasy or uncomfortable for a day without exercising?
at most, i will die at a young age. the fat will clog out my blood vessels and i will suffer from stroke, heart attack and difficulties in breathing.
i am just so not in the exercising mood when i wake up every morning. i want to swim but the weather does not allow me to. i hate to run so you cant forget about it. cycling? i am lazy to travel all the way to the east side of spore. how about team sports? where do i get people and when? can someone just get rid of the lazy bone in me now!!!!!!
to make things worse, i have been drinking recently which is bad for health. so please, ban me from drinking for the next few weeks or months. i dont want to overwork my kidneys.
i feel like a walking dead person now. just give me some excitement and drive in life. where has my passion gone to?
quick! go and exercise. when is the last time you exercise? dont you feel uneasy or uncomfortable for a day without exercising?
at most, i will die at a young age. the fat will clog out my blood vessels and i will suffer from stroke, heart attack and difficulties in breathing.
i am just so not in the exercising mood when i wake up every morning. i want to swim but the weather does not allow me to. i hate to run so you cant forget about it. cycling? i am lazy to travel all the way to the east side of spore. how about team sports? where do i get people and when? can someone just get rid of the lazy bone in me now!!!!!!
to make things worse, i have been drinking recently which is bad for health. so please, ban me from drinking for the next few weeks or months. i dont want to overwork my kidneys.
i feel like a walking dead person now. just give me some excitement and drive in life. where has my passion gone to?
Friday, June 02, 2006
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